January 2020

Don't Stop! Believing! (Hold onto that feeling, yeaa-aaa-aah): Before I completely forget, let me lie down the first dream of the year/decade in words: So, I was outside a convention akin to Comic-Con with a bunch of familiar elementary schoolmates. Except it was in L.A., not San Diego. It was bright and sunny as per, and I walked in this small store that, if I had to guess, was selling anime merch and cosplay accessories and the like. I looked in this one mirror for a bit, and in that small store walked in some unrecognizable brunet dude. (Aha, now it's getting a tad embarrassing to even record this part of the dream) Except that the brunet dude was actually the man, myth, legend, Peter Parker in the flesh. (or was it just Tom Holland?) But suddenly, this portal appears on the ceiling as myself, Peter, and anyone else in that small anime/cosplay store got completely engulfed by said portal. Bam! First dream of 2020 that sounds like a cut-short self-insert fanfic! My Immortal 2: Electric Boogaloo™! The fanmade Into the Spider-Verse edition! Alright! Legit, I'm not kidding. That's the dream I had. All that I remembered at least. Anyways. I'm pretty excited for this upcoming year to be honest. I'm seriously hoping for that change of scenery, but for now, some things that are definitely happening this year (that I'm excited for) is New Horizons and the Tokyo Olympics ceremonies! It's gonna be awesome!!! Keep on dreaming! 1-1-20🌟

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Welcome to a new kind of tension: it's 6 in the morning. I have a minor headache. And I'm hella worried about what's going on in the world right now. It's only the second day of the goddamn year. Calm the hell down! I know that I shouldn't be looking at such upsetting nonsense but… legit, I would be a thousand times more upset and worried if this was brought up while I was at school. Jesus Christ, how would the class itself react? God, but people noticing my reaction would be just downright humiliating. It would be quite similar to freaking elementary. Goddammit, I just wanted to go to sleep, but I'm just plain upset. There's tears in my eyes, my throat is doing an itchy thing… I hate this. I hate this so much. Do you hear me, world? I am upset! Oh, please… just let me sleep already… keep on dreaming. 1-2-20🌟 (well, time to look on the bright side of life. I heard earlier today that Hatsune Miku is gonna be at freaking Coachella this year. Never thought I'd be excited for Coachella, but I would actually go only for Miku.)

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Sekai de ichiban ohime-sama: It's almost 5am. I'm nauseous. I can't sleep. Everything is fine and dandy. Anyways. I'm low-key considering cutting my hair short. Like, if it ends up as dreamy and fluffy as BDG's hair, sign me the hell up! Also, I won't get yelled at for not letting my hair dry enough. That convinces me to, but not 100%, as long hair still enchants me. But, like… imagine what hair/head things that would look cute with short, fluffy hair! Legit, I just want my hair to be verbatim his hair or my brother's when my mom starts to consider cutting it. That'd be cool. Anywaaaay. That title. A.) Single-handedly dragged me back into my closeted weeb phase, and B.) If my crush called me their "number one princess in the world," I would freak. (That had good intent, despite how bad it may seem.) Right, and before I forget, I read this tumblr post about rich people conversations that OP eavesdropped on at school, and like… I can't believe that the average Ouran Academy student exists in real life. Damn rich people! That portrayal of rich people is actually accurate, Jesus freaking Christ. Imagine if I started to attend that kinda school, just so happen to break a beloved club's vase… and then… kiss kiss, fall in love! Legit, imagine if I land my poor, social-phobic rear end in a friend group of girls who are basically princesses… they give me gifts like a mutual sugar-something relationship, they hook me up with a guy who considers me his "number one princess in the world," despite being dirt poor… I wonder how awkward that would be or not. But, Jesus Christ… (what if hatsune miku sings world is mine at coachella????) Keep on dreaming. 1-4-20🌟 (first saturday shorts of the year/decade!!!)

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Moscow, Moscow, I don't know the freaking words: (guess what song is stuck in my head) Yeah, first of all: looks like I am chopping off about ⅔ of my hair sometime this week. Better make it fluffy or I am gonna sue. Anyways, I had a thought. What if we moved, and at my new school, my social-phobic rear end landed in a beneficial friend group? That's when I get in their group chat and the world is a-okay. That reminds me. What will this year's school situation be like? Legit, the only solution I know of right now is that fanciful moving one. Fanciful, mind you. I don't care as long as my butt lands in a friendly group chat from the heavens and nothing triggers my anxiety. Thank you. Keep on dreaming 1-5-20🌟

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These words are knives that often leave scars: Well, today went by quite normally, but I liked the part when my brother introduced a very happy-sounding Fall Out Boy song that features Brendon Urie, Mr. Disco himself. It's not too surprising considering the relationship between him and Fall Out Boy, but imagine if there was a similar relationship between Queen and The Beatles. Oh, if only… Anyways, I also liked the part when my mother and I were discussing California over today's Kings game. Legit, I'm going to be over the moon when I'm down there. Double, triple and the like if we ever end up moving there. Anyways, there's gonna be a Pokémon direct pretty goddamn soon and I've no idea of what they'll announce. Well, I've heard of something that sounds like a Pokémon GO companion that I would download on the spot if I were to have enough room on this godforsaken phone. I'd better get a new phone for my birthday this year. Amongst other things, obviously. Y'know, I just got reminded of a TikTok of some kid flopping around in a puddle in what seemed like an outdoors hallway at a school. It by itself reminds me of how I've heard that California schools are really roomy and airy and what have you. Are they, really? Anyways, I've heard that it's gonna snow as soon as this monday night, and like… it better. Or else, I'm gonna be madly upset and sue the weather god. But man, am I tired. Keep on dreaming. 1-8-20🌟(happy day of birth to David Bowie, Elvis Presley, Graham Chapman, and Stephen Hawking!!!!! That's a lot of birthdays!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉)

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Please take me back: Well, I heard earlier today that there's an increase of a chance of snow as next week progresses and like… assuming that he's gonna announce his new let's play during that same week, then we're gonna have one hell of a week. Snow and his voice… two of my favorite things on this huge, unfamiliar earth. Hell yeaaaaaah! Anyways, today saw the airing of the decade's/year's first direct. Here are some highlights from the top of my head:

Yeah, that's the bulk of what I can recall. Nothing else really happened other than something that triggered my angsty fantasies… that must be a good writing idea. Right, and before I forget, I need to mention that I'm becoming almost obsessed with videos of people dancing. Is my real calling in life dancing the night away? Who knows. Keep on dreaming. 1-9-20🌟

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If you love me, let me go: Well, I was just contemplating how school would go for me if I was actually going right now, and about those classes that include kids from both schools… if I didn't have those, I would be less exhausted, for one. That's kinda how I thought it was gonna go in the first place. The normal and art schools would be separated, which would make the one I went to (the art school) much more tight knit and probably more tolerable. Like how 4th/5th grade went. Or that thing they started out with in 7th grade. Well, in retrospect, I think another reason why I wasn't able to go through 8th, because that thing didn't quite work out. But, man, would I be glad if this high school thing ever worked out for me. I just need a beneficially angelic friend group and familiar classmates and everything would be a-okay. Conceptually. Keep on dreaming. 1-10-20🌟(let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!)

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Dancing 'til the break of dawn: was just scrolling through a post of people naming their favorite pokémon and like… it made me imagine how magical it would be… actually having a close bond with a particular someone. It enchants the ever living crap of my Pisces Venus, like the idea of being royal/wealthy. I wanted to be a princess when I was 6, and at almost 16, I still wanna be a princess. Conceptually, that sounds freaking awesome. Legit, I can't wait for Pisces Venus season. It's also gonna be freaking awesome. Twice and triple that, considering the possible snow and a particular someone combo. Now, that's what I call dreamy! I have high hopes for this week and nobody better jinx that! Keep on dreaming. 1-11-20🌟

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24k magic in the air: So, it is technically Venus in Pisces season, which is legit as it is, but knowing that Aquarius season is around the corner as Venus will stay in Pisces then right until my birthday... (as in, it leaves the day after my birthday) I'm gonna be hella powerful! Since the chances of him starting his next let's play between now and my birthday is high, the power of love that surges through my bones as I watch his videos each day will be unlimited!!!! Heeeeeell yeah!!! Love is what makes the world go 'round and 'round! Aaaahhhh! This is gonna be awesome!!!! Anyways. My mom and I talked California earlier today, so that was legit. But, I just thought of something. If I fall in love with a humble, kind boy that's actually from a rich family, that would be a-okay. (All! You! Need! Is! Love!) Keep on dreaming. 1-12-20🌟(and now, listing the reasons why 2017 is a model year and how it should be an example for upcoming years so I can sleep:

That half of 7th grade was freaking mint. Can't quite say that about 8th, though.

Yeah, that's all that comes to mind for now. Time to sleep. Better hear him announce his next let's play and see snow this upcoming week or consequences will occur.)

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Young man, I was once in your boots: Well, it's Venus in Pisces season, and I'm already back at it wanting to be a princess. I just wanna be with a cute and humble prince that understands me completely!!! That sounds like a dream come true!!! Anyways. It's almost 6 in the morning as my body feels so goddamn jittery. I know I slept in due to having nothing to eat or watch, but hey! Wow, my mind is… nevermind. Right, so you know roommates? So, that, but colosseum sized. Is that akin to that show I haven't seen in years about the family with at least 16 kids or something? I dunno. Just let me sleep. Keep on dreaming. 1-13-20🌟

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Call me Mr. Benzedrine: 6 in the morning. Can't sleep. Thinking of magical Casablanca. Him, being so desperate to save all who love him, and then leaving it all to me… as this all happens, he's wearing that mask as a barrier to hide his face and any expression away from the wrong hands… him, myself, and whoever the antagonist is being the only people in the world who know what's going on, as everyone who's being targeted without knowing is deeply concerned and confused on why the cheeriest one of the group has suddenly grown cold… they also don't know about his deadly, traumatic premonition that could spell death… oh, this… it's lovely… anyways. I'd like to sleep and perhaps get some snow, please. Thanks. Keep on dreaming. 1-14-20🌟

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Corn on… the cob… corn on… the kabob: It's 3 in the morning as I'm lying in bed mindlessly, y'know, as per. I just was thinking about Casablanca again, and like… what if it genuinely happened during the colosseum and everyone tries to play it cool despite the very important and particular someone not being there? Like, they won't even answer any questions of why he has disappeared because they just don't know and think that it would be better to not touch on it. They don't even mention him when it comes to inside jokes, things he's associated with, and the like, despite the chat being all, "where is he?????" all the time. Anyways. Tomorrow sounds promising in terms of videos. There's gonna be a Smash DLC announcement that I would be more excited for if my own list of characters I want in the game wasn't so silly. Well, look on the bright side of life: at least there's gonna be people who're going to be over the moon with whoever's gonna make it in. (But what if it's Waluigi?) Well, there's also gonna be a Mario Party episode, and maybe tomorrow's finally when he will announce his next let's play. But, for now… all I wanna see is snow gently falling from the sky. Keep on dreaming. 1-15-20🌟

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It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood: Well, first things first: oh my god, it finally happened. It's almost 5am and it's freaking snowing. I just spent the last 30 minutes to an hour or so just staring at it falling. (Which is the most mesmerizing thing, by the way) I even went outside to let some of it fall onto my hands and shoved it right into my mouth. This has gotta be a good omen for something. Perhaps he'll announce his next let's play, or maybe the snow will get really heavy. Anyways, today was alright; I spent it all on sleeping or crying, but I do need to address the elephant in the room: yeah, the direct was fine, they announced another Fire Emblem character that I feel so/so for, and they announced that 5 more characters are gonna be announced as well. But, the best part by far was when Cuphead got in as a Mii costume; they even added Floral Fury as a music track! Legit, I feel like Untitled Goose Game has a chance to have some rep too, and I sure hope it does! I'd be elated if that funky, chaotic little goose appeared during a future direct. Speaking of that goose, I can't believe I haven't mentioned last month's Game Awards. Jesus Christ, it was like last year's Academy awards. Green Day performed there, the man, the myth, the legendary one and only Reggie "my body is ready" Fils-Aime (the hell is that name spelt?) prepared a speech, but my favorite part was when the Muppets actually performed there and announced an award, but they also announced their own version of VR gear, and even their own version of Untitled Goose Game called Untitled Beaker Game. Yeah, and right before that award's winner was announced, the goose actually appeared! Wow, I can't believe that it took me this long to mention that. Anyways, here's to greener pastures! Always look on the bright side of life! Cheers and amen!!! Keep on dreaming! 1-16-20🌟

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Get on with it!: welp, looks like this weekend is when I chop ⅔ or so off of my hair. Although long hair is freaking mint, I'm looking forward to the sensory delight of a haircut, and possibly shorter hair. I can't wait for the softer state of my hair and then proceed (i guess) to keep it like that, with that 👌👌👌 smelling conditioner, the smoothness you get by washing out said conditioner with hella cold hair, and perhaps even getting it fluffy via blow drying it. It's gonna be awesome. Like how using that amount of conditioner will actually go around, unlike with longer hair. Good god, just show me the next Let's Play already. Keep on dreaming. 1-17-20🌟

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Watch the way I navigate: So, you know that singer girl that I was super petty about and riffed on? The annoying-cutesy girl with the annoyingly high-pitched singing/speaking voice? Welp, I'm back at it again with that. Sorta. I was just vibing while listening to music, as per, and I was thinking: what if I just become a vocalist whose voice is as powerful as Freddie Mercury's, and/or as ranged as Brendon Urie's Mr. Disco himself? That's when I magically appear on the colosseum, sing much heavier, difficult songs, and rock everyone's socks off, especially the socks of that girl. Yeah, it's not the spilled tea of a burning hot take, but it's close, I guess. But, man, does having a nasty, reputation-ruining, dirty little secret about someone you hate by yourself, or even with friends, sound tantalizing. I'll take 20, please. Sure, that guy she's always with wouldn't be pleased, but me and my imaginary friend group (for now) would be the definition of pleased. Wow, it's almost 6? Yeah, so, before I forget, I just wanna bring up that the haircut is gonna be a month from now at the most. Looking forward to it! Keep on dreaming. 1-18-20🌟(it's been a month since Galaxy 2 ended! Give me new let's play, 🅱lease and thank you!)

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Do you like my car?: Today, as I was aimlessly scrolling through my YouTube subscriptions, something that brought me joy caught my eye. Not an announcement of his next let's play, not quite. It was actually his college roommate's stream of Grand Theft Auto 5, featuring him and someone else. Now, I may know absolutely nothing about absolutely everything about GTA in general, but I was set on watching that stream. So, a bit later, I sat on my butt, watching that stream while I had lunch and finished my drawing. There were two things about the stream that interested me: the surreality of a darling, favorite person blindly playing a game that takes place in a fantasized, fictional version of my darling, favorite Southern California, (it was mostly around the LA area, but shut up) since I've been familiar with the place since I was a teeny, tiny, cute little baby. And also how I've forgotten about most of the people's (people who watch these group's content) pretty odd tendency for adoring his oblivious nature of sexual, erotic things. Like, he grew up in a tiny, sheltered family. Why are you interested in that out of all things? (Could be just me being super petty over a single thing, but shut up) Like, you do know a couple things on how he grew up, yeah? Do you really need to bring up that book again, or make a big deal out of him misinterpreting anything? (Ugh, just ignore me; it's like I'm becoming the very thing I swore to destroy.) But, I feel like I'm directing this at that one person. That one person who adores him in an odd, obvious, and open way that's honestly obnoxious. (Accidental alliterations are always amazing.) Yeah, and now for something completely different: the tantalizing self-insertion self-indulgent: Casablanca: a Deadly Premonition. (Totally not a fan-fic.) I had a thought: what if he staged his disappearance, and his sudden drop of cheer was a more metaphorical, mood-based mask as a way to cope with the trauma from his premonition? Like, that trauma has rendered him so very ice cold as he's growing fearful of sharing his trauma of something that could never actually happen. Yes, it's a premonition, but it's been years since his last one, and this particular one knocks him out. Hard. Never before has his friends been threatened by death before, and there's literally nothing he can do about it; he can only grieve when nobody's around, but there's only one hope: me. Nobody's sure if his premonition is actually deadly, or just a bad dream; but those people actually seemed to be threatened. Even himself seems to be threatened as well, as he was trapped somewhere by an unknown entity. Maybe there's instances where that entity confuses him for myself. Oh, dearie me. I'm pining over a fictional trauma of a very real person. Fictional trauma that involves a real group of real people. Welp, I bet that's a one-way ticket to therapy. But, it really did stem from a very real dream that I really had, so…? Yeah, we'll see about that. (Did I mention that he casually brought up how he was a victim of a hit and run and nobody mentioned it nor blinked an eye-lash at it? Dear god, pretty please elaborate on that.) Keep on dreaming. 1-19-20🌟 (come tomorrow, my power shall be unlimited!!!!! Well, it's 4:30 in the morning, and I just wanna bring up how the concept of things never happening in another dimension and its impact just sounds tantalizing. Like, now that it's Thanos'd from that dimension, what happens?)

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🦀🦀It's Aquarius season!!!!🦀🦀: Well, well, well… the sun is in Aquarius as Venus is in Pisces… if this doesn't fuel my power… then nothing else will… anyways. It's time for more silly scare tactics, because God has cursed me for my current dilemma in life, and my paranoia is never planning to disappear. My mom decided to pull the classic silly scare tactics for the haircut I was looking forward to. On that of all things? You suck. Yeah, but at least his next let's play is becoming more and more likely with each upcoming day; I just need to sleep a crap ton. But pretty please start it this week. 🅱lease. Give me it! I want my happiness!!!! Oh, right! I forgot to bring up something yesterday: that stream totally proved that the annual gift exchange those two have happened already! Hell yeah! Something else to look forward to! Keep on dreaming. 1-20-20♒(y'know, something that I also forgot to mention… Around last month, I was watching a Panic! At the Disco concert with, of course, Brendon Urie, Mr. Disco himself. Something about that still stands out to me, which was when Nine in the Afternoon started playing. Obviously, I was all "!!!!", but at the end of the song, it felt more sad and heartfelt. I feel like it's because it's a song from a time when Panic! At the Disco wasn't just Brendon, Mr. Disco. Oh, why does this thing happen to every band I listen to? But, the kicker is that the other three (hopefully) haven't passed away yet. I can only pray to God that they'll reunite like how My Chemical Romance came back last month. Even though I've only been listening to Panic! for about 2(?) years, I'm already becoming emotionally invested. Oh, dearie me.)

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One dump, one turd, two tits, John Deacon: uuuuuugh. You know what time it is. You know what's making me type this up. Well, uhhm, I checked tomorrow's horoscope, and apparently it's time for me to kyowa, have a nice day. Probably without the Japanese dudes in suits dancing with perfect synchronization. But, I'll have a grand day any day. Especially if it involves a particular someone, and/or my favorite, darling Southern California. Good god, I can't think of anything else. Looks like this was another short and sweet one. Keep on dreaming. 1-21-20🌟(one or two hours later, and I'm hit with a power outage and the news that somebody passed away. Please, life. You told me that I was gonna kyowa, have a nice day. Not a depressing one. This just doesn't feel real. My condolences for everyone, everywhere. Rest in peace, ex-comedian. To quote The Office: "Will I get over it? No. But life goes on." Good god, this doesn't feel real at all, but my somber mood seriously does...)

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You're the sunflower, I think your love would be too much: Well, like I said in the last bit of parentheses yesterday: today sucked. But, look on the bright side of life. Mario Party will update tomorrow even if a particular someone won't announce his next let's play yet. (Please, just get on with it!) Anyways, I picked up a book, the first book from a series I've yearned to re-read since I went to the library last September. And, I've gotta say… that yearning is still pretty strong. I just wanna go to that library once I wake up and just grab all of the books in that series. I remember hearing that there was going to be a movie adaption several years ago and like… yeah, I don't think so. God, just give me the rest of the series already!!! (Dream scenario: I'm vibing in my dreamy Santa Barbara house, I have my eyes locked onto a book, feeling the warmth as wind blows through the lightly colored curtains…) keep on dreaming. 1-22-20🌟

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I wonder what's for dinner: uuuugggh. I don't really need to tell you what the current situation is. Anyways. It's technically Saturday, and like, I better wake up with something to watch. Mario Party just ended the other day, which is why I went through today mostly sleeping. What the hell am I supposed to watch? Yeah, which reminds me, the 10th anniversary of that channel is coming up pretty damn soon. Are they gonna commemorate that with something or…? But, I just hope that we go to the store this weekend, upload or not. Yeaaaaah… keep on dreaming. 1-24-20🌟

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Love never felt so good: yeah, you know what's happening now. I just want to sleep, and at a much more reasonable time. Not freaking 6. Yeah, anyways, the intermission collab (my new coined term) this time is Wheel of Fortune. As I started watching the video all half-asleep, I got obviously startled by his sudden, yet scarily uncanny Monokuma impression. (Wow, is that seriously the second time I've even mentioned Danganronpa? Consider a rant including my feelings on that game up and a-coming.) Please note that an hour before that, I checked YouTube, thinking that the intermission collab was actually Fortune Street. Thus, I went back to sleep, and so on, therefore, and whatever. Uuuuugh. I'm a little glad it wasn't Fortune Street, though. I don't think you can even top the session that was uploaded after Kirby and the Amazing Mirror. That was full of some good laughter. My mind is so very blank. Keep on dreaming. 1-25-20🌟 (It's been! One week! Since the initial! 5 week wait! Ended! Get on with it! But, for now… give me! Sleep! Please!)

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Maclunkey: Well, guess what: I'm sad again. Yeah, today sucked as well. Had nothing to eat, had nothing to watch… all I wanted was to go to the store and also Panera Bread, for that soup I've been building up an appetite for quite some time now. Hey, since 2020 seems to be imitating 2016, can we just skip to the good part? Okay, thanks. See you in March or something. (But probably not really) keep on dreaming. 1-26-20🌟 (pretty please, let tomorrow be the kyowa have a nice day I was promised last monday.)

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You are my dad! You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!: welp, these last few days were fun; I just chilled in bed, sick with a stuffy nose that was way worse than the usual stuffy nose. Well, I'm glad to say that the stuffy nose is pretty much gone, but I did just have an awful headache a couple hours ago. Yeah, anyways. Green Day performed at the NHL All-Star game last weekend, and it took me until yesterday to hear about that and it makes me so upset that I didn't see them perform live. But, luckily, I did happen to see the annual mascot game, which was an absolute joy to see. It was so silly! And, yeah, I did look up and found that performance on YouTube. Thank. Freaking. God. And. The. Lord. I also found a recording of the mascot game, too. But! It's now time to bring up something that's Very! Important! First of all, the vlogs that took place around the time of that GTA5 stream are finally being uploaded… and!!!!! He finally dropped a hint towards the next let's play, and I'm certain that it's gonna be a Kirby game. My heart says Super Star Ultra, but my mind says Planet Robobot. Okay, that is it. Thank you. Keep on dreaming. 1-29-20🌟 (happy day of birth to the lovely Brian David Gilbert!!!!! I love you, you funky yet feral academic!!!! 🎉🎉🎉)