etude of a menagerie on the milky way

It's the first day of May and I'm really happy, cause warm, sunny weather is probably the closest thing that I'm gonna get to living in California, but who knows? I just scrolled down who knows for how long only for a wallpaper I found cool. Jeez. Oh, right, and I'm participating in MerMay this month, and I'm looking forward to it. And, I wouldn't besurprised if I went through a phase that's like an emo phase, but instead of emo bands that I listen to, it's classic rock. But, the classic rock fandom is just so chill and cool... I also got some more killer story ideas!!! Keep on dreaming. 5-1-18☆

I don't know why, but today, while thinking of a character of mine, I kept thinking about the summer of 2015. I don't know why. It was sunny today and I hope it stays like that for much longer. I finally started re-playing Super Mario Odyssey (why do I always need autocorrect for spelling Odyssey?) and I took some pictures of things I found interesting or cute. I also got a fortune today and it said that beautiful things await me and I wonder what it could mean by beautiful things. Could there be a moment in that live stream this weekend that'll be worth gold or even platinum? Is Hightide Era gonna return? Who knows? Bleh, and I'm tired too. Keep on dreaming. 5-2-18⭐

So, I just woke up and then I checked YouTube. I saw a public message by Mr. Emile saying that he'll be unable to upload due to the stream during the weekend. But, that hello at the beginning of it felt like a warm hug as in a "hello, it's nice to see you again" hug. Me and my fantasies of us being together... Speaking of that stream, I'm so hyped for it, you wouldn't believe it. Yes, it's on Twitch, yes, I'm going to be asleep during the first couple of hours, but still!!!! So many people outside of the main three is gonna be there and it's gonna be great! I wonder if any of the beautiful things are any of those two things... Keep on dreaming. 5-3-18 ⭐

Today's stream was the first one of 3 and it was awesome! I may have accidentally woke up an hour before it, but it was sooo worth it! There was a bunch of laughing, some excitement, a ton of references, and a bit of a lag, but it wasn't too laggy. I just love how close the Let's Playing community is, and how everyone practically knows everyone, despite being a bit small. The stream went on for a whopping 14 hours with breaks, of course, and it was for a good cause, too! People donated a bit more than 40k during the stream, and I would totally donate, if I could. I wouldn't be surprised if this was the beautiful thing that the fortune mentioned... Keep on dreaming. 5-4-18⭐

Today's stream was just as good, but I'm way tired to address anything. It's raining, practically pouring, right now and I'm low-key thinking that Amethyst, the story I'm writing, is practically a Frozen rip-off and I'm worried. Hmm, tired. Keep on dreaming. 5-5-18⭐

ooookay, so Sunday, we went to OMSI, the science museum, and we saw this cool laser show. I, of course, recognized the music they used. Including: Technologic by Daft Punk, the Cantina Band theme, the ubiquitous cartoon factory music called Powerhouse, freaking Cotton Eye Joe, and a song I remember listening to in a car during a very rainy night around a decade ago on the radio, Major Tom (doesn't have to do with David Bowie, in this case) which low-key reminds me of Take on Me. (which was released a year after, go fig) And something about that song reminds me of... something, (which is the title of the song I'm listening to)and I don't know what. And we're probably going to IKEA sometime this month, which should be cool. Oh, right, and that party thing at the Academy is next Friday and I'm scared and hella worried. And I logged in to something that I haven't logged in to in four, count 'em, f o u r years. All for references, all for references, I swear. Keep on dreaming. 5-11-18⭐

Soo, last night, I had this dream that I actually moved back to California. And the thought of actually moving there when I grow up (I'm thinking to Redding, but I'm not sure) is why I'm still awake. (it's 2am) One day I'll move back there. One day. Oh, right, and that party thing? None of my parents were available at the time, so oh well. Not like it was necessary or did I want to go anyway. Before I had that dream, I had another dream. It was about living in this small community that was entirely inside these huge glass spheres that floated above ground and everyone was limited on what they could bring in or something. That's all I remember from that one, other than it was pretty weird. And I just want it to be summer already. The other day I saw a thing that says that we'll be out of town during August 14-16. Cool. If we're going to Washington right after summer break starts then...? (I also just realized that I've been doing this for technically a month! Congrats, my dude.) Keep on dreaming. 5-17-18⭐

OK, so I did some relatively cool stuff today, like going to the Mall. We went to the usual places, and we got myself a new sweater. Nice. My mom also went to some yard sales and she got me some hats and a pillow. Although, I'm hella tired so I'm gonna sleep. Keep on dreaming. 5-18-18⭐

today I started on re-watching Lucky Star, an anime series that I haven't seen in a very long time. On Saturday, I went to some yard sales with my mom. (I actually just went to look at nearby neighborhoods, not actually go to any yard sales) It was pretty satisfactory. I got a chair, multiple shirts, a couple craft kits, and even a pair of earbuds. Nice. I got a how-to-draw book the day before and now I'm improving my art skills. I think. Also, I think my crush appeared in my dream some night ago in an obscure way. One of the craft kits I got was for a dreamcatcher, which I made during another night. Which totally, royally, messed up my sleep schedule. And I cleaned today. Congrats. Keep on dreaming. 5-21-18⭐(I feel like I forgot something...)

today I dug around in my closet, and found stuff that I wasn't even intending on looking for, but whatevs. I also looked inside the binder I was using for school, up until I got overwhelmed by it. In which, I'm actually starting to regret that. The news of that horrific shooting a couple months ago probably shook up the students of my school, which might've brought them together in some heartwarming way. But oh well, we all make mistakes. Or happy little accidents, as Bob Ross would say. But I did draw a good amount in those notebooks, so there's a good thing. Keep on dreaming. 5-23-18⭐

Today, I went to the dentist yet again. When we got there, the movie that was on the thing was almost over. Luckily, some other girl who was waiting chose instead of me or my brother. That girl seemed pretty cool too though. After her, someone else came in, who took me way too long to realize that they were male, at least I think they were. They seemed pretty cool, too. We went there in a car that was practically a reskin of the one my mom takes to work. Oh, and Mr. Emile uploaded an hour earlier than usual. Nice. What's weird about that is that he should be at a convention about now. Conventions are pretty great, because I can see recent pictures of his beautiful face, even though I'm on the other side of the country. Which poses as a problem why I can't go to them in the first place. First, admission there is expensive, and I don't have anyone to go with. And I'm pretty sure that I'm too young to go by myself. Also, I'm most likely to make an incoherent fool of myself if I ever get lucky enough to even meet him. And big, noisy crowds under one roof sounds pretty scary. But one day I'll meet him. One day. Keep on dreaming. 5-24-18⭐

holy crap, my dude. You wouldn't believe the amount of motivation after watching a movie from a decade ago. The message was really great, how failing over and over again can lead to success and how you should keep moving forward. Of course, I got that motivation at the worst time possible, at 2 in the morning. So I wasted it on creating a backstory for one of my characters. It is now 3am and now I'm here looking at pictures of the attractive people whom I look up to. Of course. Like, I'm in LOVE-love! Wish I could actually meet them. Reminder to add Ouran, Ika Musume, and K-ON to the anime series to watch list. And to get a small notebook and fidget cube as soon as possible. Keep on dreaming. 5-25-18⭐ (getting closer to Summer! Hell yeah!)

Right now, I'm grieving on how alone and friendless I am right now. Like, I want to relate to those posts about spending time with them, but I can't. I just can't. I want to exchange numbers with them. I want to share secrets with them. I want to introduce things with them. I want to spend time with them, but I just can't. I'm too scared and shy to. The last time I started a long-time friendship was seven years ago and all I want is a godly kid who's like me, who's like my guardian angel, my soulmate. I want someone, I need someone, who's a supportive ray of sunshine. But I can't. I'm afraid to, and socializing is too scary and too exhausting. Like, please, won't somebody accept my feelings? But, that similarity thing is difficult, because I like things that most people don't, but the people who do are the ones I'm never gonna meet, and are miles away. I don't bother with even introducing it, because people just think of it negatively, and I am not a persuasive person in the slightest. I also don't bother due to being insecure. If she didn't leave me behind, I wouldn't be so alone... But she didn't like the things I liked, so... Anyways, what do people even do with friends anyway? (like I said before, I feel more comfortable observing what friends do from a distance, in a way that's not really that creepy, I think.) The more that I think about it, me being friend-less is probably why I'm so mentally chatty. Like, people be with certain people and not feel insecure or exhausted or anything? Who are they and what kinda sorcery do they practice on the daily? One day I should stalk popular social media users' profiles and see what kind of life extroverted people live without any mental disorders/illnesses. Yeah, that sounds interesting... Keep on dreaming. 5-27-18⭐(what is this friend thing everyone has and how do you get one????)

Earlier today I finally watched Coco for my first time and when Miguel was singing Remember Me to his Mama Coco near the end of the movie, I just got struck with the feels and tears were straight up flowing from my eyes from that point on. I was crying for a good five minutes after the movie ended. Which is the most time I took crying during a movie. You've done good, Pixar. You've done good. (Also, Mexican representation? Hell yeah!) Oh, right, and today was my mom's birthday!! Yay! I also checked out a horoscope thing, and this summer is going to be better than usual. That's kinda saying something, since it's usually pretty great. I remembered something, this is slightly embarrassing, but during the live streams earlier this month, they were mentioning how close the Let's Playing community is and/or how it's bonding with each other and how there was unity, and Mr. Emile said something like how love and peace feels a little easier to achieve... I was like, "That's it. I love that man." I swear, he's like that one guy who always cheers me up and we're similar in so many different ways. It'd be nice if I actually have the guts to actually meet him. He's such a pure ray of sunshine. Like, I want to give you my love and affection, but I don't want to make an incoherent fool out of myself. Also, it would be nice if attractive guys were more like him, thanks. Anyways, it's almost 5 in the morning and I need to sleep. Keep on dreaming. 5-29-18⭐

honestly, right now I just feel tired, but my internal monologue is too fast for me to unwind. Oh, right, and another thing that I seriously love about Coco is that it features an all Hispanic cast. Earlier today I folded all of my clothes just to get either that Micro SD card or the Octo Expansion DLC. And, one thing about myself is that I'm probably the least interesting person ever. I don't bother with telling people how my day was, that day was most likely pretty bland. Oh, right. One day I need to find my older Kindle so I can read what's on it. I've been wondering about it for a while now. Keep on dreaming. 5-30-18⭐

Alright, June is technically here, and you know what that means. That's right, pride month. I do support LGBT+ folk, but June is when they get out of hand. I mean, I want to support you, but you should support me back and not invalidate me... Just because I fall in love with (usually dead) guys doesn't mean you have to go count us out of those other alignment charts. Hopefully nobody discovers this entry in particular, or all hell could break loose. This kinda reminds me of those popular girls who would leave me out on whatever they were doing. Or, you know, everyone. Like, can I just have at least one friend who's actually straight like me? To me, it just feels like it's cool to leave out anyone who's straight out of anything. This is probably why I don't have any friends in the first place. Another example of invalidation is how they say that something belongs to one of those groups, and say that it's their culture. There's a chance I could be misinterpreting that, but can't everyone enjoy it? I'm a bit salty, so ignore it. I should stay positive, but ugh, is love such a beautiful yet complicated thing. Keep on dreaming. 5-31-18⭐(mmmm, 🅱ikmin.) P.S. forgot to mention it, but today was pretty good. Great even. I got Starbucks, Splatoon 2 updated, and I should put a thing of ice in my mouth because, to welcome June, I felt like resetting my sleep schedule. Because it's technically the day after. Heh...